Luke,

When you first entered this world waaay back in 1974, who could have ever known that you’d grow up to be the boy who would make this girl’s dreams come true? I certainly didn’t know it when I met you at the Barca Lounge and was mean to you. I figured it out fast, though, and along the way I’ve been able to discover so much about who you are at your core. I see you day in and day out, at your best and worst moments, and I can tell you this: I have never met anyone – ANYONE – more genuine, forgiving, selfless, protective, faithful, strong, loyal, complimentary, thoughtful, loving and funny as YOU. I see it in big ways like how you switched from teacher to solider in an instant, and bravely faced so many unknowns while at the same time trying to comfort everyone back home. And you didn’t even bat an eyelash. It was just in your nature to stay composed, strong and compassionate. And I see it in the more subtle ways like how you always say sorry and I love you, how you drop everything and take over when I’m sick or just need a break, how when I just want to escape you always let me know that you'll run after me as soon as I need you to.

And you see ME day in and day out, at my best and worst moments and somehow you make me feel like I am enough. Even when I feel like I fall short as a parent or friend or employee – you are always there with the kindest words, warmest hugs and most reassuring encouragement. I often find myself saying “what would I do without you?” through tears, and you downplay it, but I truly mean that. You support and love me in the best possible ways. We don’t always get it right, and we are certainly not perfect, but you have set the most wonderful foundation for your family – we see you both as our strongest rock and our softest place to land.

Four years into this parenting thing, I am still amazed daily at how being a dad comes so naturally to you. You value the time we spend with our kids and are always looking for opportunities to show them the beauty of creation, take them on adventures and teach them new and exciting things. I love the true friendship that exists between you and Caleb and I will never know how I got so lucky to have our son have a role model daddy like you.  I love how you are so loving and protective of Kenzie’s heart and how she's a little wrapped around your finger. You pay attention to all the details - making sure every tooth is brushed, that ointment is put on owies, that the right stuffed animals are in their backpacks, that favorite snacks are in the car, that vegetables are eaten, that prayers are said before bed – and so much more. You know ALL the details because you invest so deeply into their lives and care about what makes them tick and what is closest to their hearts. They are so lucky and I live more confidently in this world knowing that they have you as a daddy.

I look at you and the life you have given me and I feel genuinely grateful. Grateful that God brought us together. Grateful that you chose me. Grateful that our families combined. Grateful that everyone who knows you knows you to be a wonderful man. To me, you're the best.

Happy 40^th b-day (a couple months late!)

Love,

Nisha  

big brother jace.

dear jace,

in a matter of days, or maybe even hours, you will enter into a brand new realm. you are going to be a big brother.

and i know exactly how your mama feels.

she is over the moon for you because she knows the fun, loyalty, friendship and unique connection that comes with having a sibling. but she's also scared for you. she's nervous. for two years you've had them all to yourself and they had you - just you - to give their everything to. tears come easily when she thinks you may be a little sad, confused or lonely at first having to share their time and attention with another little person. and she just generally laments that the time with the three of you will soon switch from reality to memory and only be known again through pictures and the permanent etches left on her heart.

but i want to tell you, and her, something. this world you are about to enter is going to be one you are never going to want to leave. well, there may be moments, but they will be fleeting. i personally think you are gonna rock this big brother thing. you are generally good at everything you do, and i don't expect this to be any different. at first the little guy won't do much other than eating and sleeping and maybe crying. you'll either entertain yourself like you are so good at doing, or you'll be interested in everything he does (even if it's not much).

as he grows, you will be the lucky dude that gets to show him the ropes. he will look up to you and want to copy everything you do. it's a big responsibility, jace, to show your brother how to grow up to be the best little man he can be. i'd say this little guy is pretty lucky to have a big brother like you to pave the way for him.

to your mom, i want to say, i KNOW. i know your heart is completely twisted and your emotions are all over the place. you so want jace to know how important he is - how the immense love you feel for his little brother was never and will never be borrowed from the immense love you have for him. i want to tell you that he'll get it. he'll always know he's loved and special because you and owen are incredible parents and you'll never stop showing him. and never forget that grace is always, always swirling around.

having two is hard and wonderful, tiring and invigorating, and more magical than your most vivid dreams could have ever shown you. you are giving jace a gift - a lifelong buddy and an unbreakable bond.

there will be moments when they are arguing, telling on each other or not sharing and you will want to rip your hair out and run away from home without even stopping to put on your shoes. i wont lie.

but oh man. you are going to see jace touch his baby's brother's face for the first time. and hold him and smile at him and talk to him in a gentle little baby voice. you'll see him teaching baby barton to use a spoon and helping you pack the diaper bag and telling you not to forget his favorite binky. before you know it, you'll see jace showing him how to do a puzzle, count to ten and play hide and go seek. they will chat in the backseat of the car and enterain themselves with their silly games and inside jokes. they will sing at the top of their lungs to songs they made up, race down the halls at top speed and splash each other at bath time.

when the sun sets on a lazy summer day, you will see the silhouette of two little people skipping rocks on the beach and you won't be able to imagine one without the other - and you won't believe how your heart was able to contain the same, limitless love for them both.

it will take your breath away.

i love you guys. and i can't wait.