now this is more like it.

just when i was beginning to think that my son had an abnormal love for mall santas, this happened: 

we'll see what happens next year, but if i do end up having to sit on santa's lap again, at least i won't be 7 months pregnant.

happy birthday, norah!

norah decided she wanted to go to the American Girl store for her birthday. lucky us ... because that meant we got to spend the whole weekend with the christies and celebrate this sweet, beautiful girl's special day! we loved every minute of it.

and the next morning, caden made us some delicious pancakes for breakfast with his own special spices. they tasted like christmas! hopefully when he makes it as an iron chef on the food network someday, he'll introduce me to rachael ray.

oh and i should mention - maggie cleaned, organized and rearranged my whole house, while david built us an office in our closet to help us save space in baby girl marvel's nusery. um. pretty much my dream come true. thank you, christies!!

how i spent my thanksgiving.

we traded the turkey and stuffing for a dinner at sharis. checked our phones every five minutes to see how she was progressing. made a late night visit to the hospital and ended the day with the most beautiful sight - a healthy and amazing baby jace. conventional? no. perfect? most definitely.

citizen's arrest

daughter.

(image courtesy of google)



i hope you love dresses.
i hope you have eyes like your brother (what I wouldn’t give for his lashes).
i hope you are strong and sweet.
i hope when you pray you believe with all of your heart that God cares.
i hope you marry a man like your dad.
i hope you always choose the right thing over the popular thing.
i hope you won’t hate me when you’re a teenager.
i hope you live a life with more smiles than tears (happy tears are as good as smiles, too).
i hope you aren’t afraid to get dirty and go camping.
i hope you will still be seen with me even when i'm uncool.
i hope that your faith will grow every minute that you do.
i hope you won’t be a picky eater.
i hope you won’t love shopping quite as much as I do.
i hope you will tell me anything and not be afraid.
i hope you will never get your heart broken.
i hope you will be quick to stand up when you fall.
i hope you will stick up for people.
i hope you will appreciate your imperfections.
i hope you will let me do your hair.
i hope you will care more about the beauty on the inside than on the outside.
i hope you will never feel alone.
i hope you will choose your friends wisely.
i hope you will trust us to do what’s best for you.
i hope you will never want to be anyone but the person God has made you to be.
i hope you will be kind and humble.
i hope you will have a heart full of gratefulness.
i hope you will have few regrets.
i hope you will make wise choices.
i hope you will love your brother and love being a sister.
i hope you will dream big.
i hope you will know that, from the moment you existed, you have been my dream come true.

jace.

i mentioned in a previous post that i cry very easily these days. happy tears usually.

so it's VERY easy to believe that i get teary whenever i think about my new nephew, jace, being born. i get weepy because my little sister (really my cousin, but REALLY my sister) is about to be a mom. because i remember when SHE was born herself. and i wonder how we all grew up. how she is now married, has her own house and is about to have her first baby.

i cry because i have a wonderful family. and now jace is a part of that wonderful family. because i couldn't be more excited for owen and lisa if i tried. it's like it's happening to ME or something.

lisa and owen haven't had the easiest pregnancy ever. there has been sickness, tiredness, ups and downs along the way. and that's why i REALLY get weepy when i hear this song and think of them.

lis and owen - you will be phenomenal parents. and you have a family who loves you so much and will support you every step of the way. and oh how we already love our little jace. every up and down you've experienced has led you to this moment when you will see your baby for the first time and fall completely in love. your journey is just about to begin. so as you labor and pray and push and pray ... as you spend the next 100 years loving your son like crazy ... through every good and bad moment ... remember that "the One who's gone before you will help you carry on."

good luck, bartons. can't wait to meet you, nephew.

things i now know.

the first four weeks of caleb's life gave me the biggest surprise of my life. i was sad, overwhelmed, unprepared, and a little lost.

yes, i loved caleb with all of my heart. yes, i knew how blessed i was to have a healthy baby. i couldn't explain my emotions. but they were all over the place.

i realized quickly that i had the blues. the baby blues. they only lasted for about three or four weeks until the fog lifted and i could see life in color in again.

those first weeks seem like an eternity ago, but as i prepare to bring another newborn baby home, i can't help but wonder what the first few weeks with her will be like.

this i know. my heart will be way more prepared. even if i get the baby blues again, i'm now equipped with lessons i learned the first time around.

here's what i now know:

babies cry.
i know caleb probably wasn't the fussiest baby in the world, but he was fussy. i remember meeting friends in the afternoons for coffee or walks. their babies loved their car seats. they loved their strollers. they loved everything. and mine didn't seem to love anything. he'd cry when i put him in the car, when i took him out, when i set him down for second. when i'd change him. when i'd give him a bath. when i'd dry him off. at the time, i felt like he cried all the time. thankfully, i heard a lot of wise words from mommy friends who were angels to me during this time. they reminded me that babies cry. i know, why didn’t i know this before? but it was good information. BABIES CRY. sometimes for no reason. sometimes for reasons we can’t immediately remedy. they are new to the world, unaccustomed to being cold or hungry or uncomfortable. they had everything they needed when they were safe and snug in utero. living in this world is just an adjustment. i needed to cut him some slack. and cut myself some while i was at it.

i am small.
i think you shrink about 12 sizes when you first bring your baby home. and not in weight (unfortunatley). i felt so small, so vulnerable, so humbled by the huge task of taking care of a precious little person. i didn't feel equipped or in control. but things started making sense as soon as i accepted that I AM small and vulnerable and not in control. and, more importantly, i had to realize who could equip me and who WAS in control. not dr. sears. not the perfect mommies with the great advice. not even Luke, who was my saving grace. God was still in control. just like always. and just feeling my smallness and His biggness was a great thing for me. i learned that seeing the dimensions of your vulnerability isn't disheartening; instead it's comforting, encouraging and empowering.

i will never be perfect.
as women, i think we all know we compare ourselves. but the mom thing was a whole new level of comparisons. those moms who have the perfectly behaved children, clean houses, dinners in the oven, and they sew their own baby clothes, grow their own vegetables and clip coupons in their spare time. that wasn't me. my house was a disaster. even though my house is seldom spotless, i do like to keep it tidy. if i see clutter, my brain feels cluttered and that first four weeks there was clutter clutter clutter everywhere. nothing was where it was supposed to be. but here's the thing. i am going to resist the urge to compare this time. i know eventually, my house will start looking better. i may never measure up to other wonder moms. but at the end of the day, all of us moms are in the same boat. we just want to do the best we can to love and care for our babies.

time is precious.
during those first days with caleb, i feel like i was always waiting for the next thing to happen. if he was awake, i was thinking about all the things he needed or that i could be doing. when he was napping, i'd think about how much i could get done before he woke up. i was a little too frantic for my own good. now i have the gift of retrospect and i know that newborn time is extremely precious. it isn't something to rush through as fast as you can. i can't wait to soak up my little girl's littleness because i now know it doesn't last for long.

all of this experience and knowledge is good, but the greatest thing i know now that i didn't know before is just how much i would love being a mommy, and how much my love for caleb b. would just fill my heart the way that it has. it was like he was always meant to be in our lives forever and when he arrived we just felt a deeper sense of completeness. i feel so blessed to be able to feel that again with our new baby girl as she further "completes" this amazing story God has written for us.

tidbits.

Caleb loves reading books. I love when he grabs a book from his basket and brings it to me so we can snuggle. It’s one of the rare times these days that he sits still for long enough for me to cuddle with him. His favorite books are ones with animals in them, and he points to every picture (and I mean EVERY single picture) and asks “what’s that?” I may or may not have called one animal I didn’t recognize a “jackalope.” But I was really tired.

Speaking of reading, the other day we were reading a book and I wasn’t really paying attention to the pictures. But Caleb stopped me in mid-sentence, put his hands together, bowed his head and said, “amen.” When I looked at the picture it was of a little girl praying. Melted my heart.

A few nights ago we were leaving a friend’s house and Caleb randomly yelled, “Bye guys!” as we were walking out the door. Luke and I were dying. He just sounded like such a little boy.

After getting home late (8 p.m. is late, right?) Caleb was completely asleep and Luke was changing him into his pajamas. As he was still asleep, Caleb yelled “cookies!” out of nowhere. Wonder what he was dreaming of.

So far Caleb seems to like his baby sister. He often points to my belly or kisses my belly and says “baby.” I pray this behavior continues when she’s out.

The other day when I picked Caleb up from daycare, his teacher stopped me and told me how much she loved him. It made me cry. But everything makes me cry when I’m pregnant. But this. This was definitely cry-worthy.

I'm now six months pregnant and am so big. I can't imagine what I'll look like at nine months or how I'll be able to hold Caleb and chase him around everywhere. Interesting times ahead.

pinkalicious

we recently spent a wonderful weekend with our family in spokane/newport. i was oh so happy to get to spend the day here:

i LOVE the shanty. it's without a doubt my favorite store ever. but i love its owner, my sister-friend maggie, even more. she was hosting "who let the girls out," which has become a twice-a-year shopping event in her hometown of newport. it's always so fun to be a part of these events with her. the ENTIRE town gets involved and shows so much support for their local shops. and her store always looks amazingly festive, has the most wonderful gifts and serves the most delectable food and drinks. i'm so proud of her.

then, when we got back to the house, i saw this:

a pinkalicious party in honor of baby girl marvel, complete with pink napkins, pink presents tied with pink bows and sugar cookies with pink frosting. we also dined on a family favorite meal - dede's spaghetti. YUM.

the kids are so adorable together. i love how caden and norah take such good care of caleb. they are the sweetest.

thank you, marvels and christies. we love you!

just like daddy.

the other day, caleb brought me a book called, "let's go, seahawks."

he opened it up and began reading it to me. as he flipped through the pages, he kept saying "run! ball! touchdown!" over and over again.

either this kid is a genius or we watch WAY too much football at our house.

(correct answer: both are right.)

my little monkey.

caleb decides to skip the candy and just go inside to play with the neighbor's dog

taking a short break

grandparents give candy AND toys

caleb scored some socks from our parents' neighbors