eight months.

photo by jocelyn k brown photography

Little girl,

Eight months have come and gone and all I can wonder is how we ever lived without you.  

Your first tooth is poking through. Your hair is bigger and curlier than ever. You crawl backwards and in circles, but haven’t yet mastered forward motion. You try to eat everything in sight. You like being held and you like us nearby. You still are finicky about other people holding you, but you are a million times better than four months ago. You say mama and dada and baba. You like to stick out your tongue. You are a solid sitter and not so wobbly. You are dainty. You had your first big fever and aside from being hot and a little miserable you were still your same sweet self. You are sweet. You usually fall asleep easily with a swaddle and a binky. You babble endlessly. You are ticklish under your arms and on the bottom of your feet. You scratch your head a lot. You don’t hold your own bottle yet (I’m waaaiting). You give your brother strange looks when he’s being crazy. You laugh when we laugh at you. You love being in your stroller. You are a good napper. You are a wiggly worm, but on occasion you are content with just cuddling. Your cuddles are amazing.

The other day when I was picking you up after work, I overheard nadiya say as she was playing with you, “Oh, Kenzie, thank you for your smile. It’s so beautiful and generous.”

I thought, what perfect adjectives for your smile. Beautiful and generous. Yes. Your smile is like receiving a present or watching a sunset or being awed by an Artist’s masterpiece. That smile has made me cry more than once. And I don’t know exactly why or how a smile can make you cry, except to say I just sometimes get swept up by how beautiful and generous it is.

I’ve said it before, but, Kenzie Lou, you are my dream. You are the deep, aching love that has always been in my heart, but I didn’t know its name and I didn’t know its face. And now that I do – now that I get to finally know you – everything makes a little more sense. Our family is whole, complete, made more beautiful by beautiful and generous you.