thank you.

dear caleb,

to think. my biggest worry about having another baby was how you would take it. it broke my heart to think you'd ever for a second feel ... well ... replaced.

us moms can really over-think things sometimes.

thank you for giving me the happiest memories of your sister's first days with us in the world. when you first saw her, you shined that bright, beaming smile of yours and looked so proud to be her big brother. my heart melted.

you were sweet and gentle. you wanted to hold her and hug her and touch her face. and you cuddled right up to me and your dad as if to reassure us that you were fine with this new change in our lives.

you were better than fine, in fact. every day you seem to love your sister more. you walk in the door and say "hi mama, hi kenzie." you always say "where's baby?" or "i baby hold you" (meaning, i want to hold baby). and you are so kind to her, caleb. you pat her lovingly when she cries. you are patient when i need to feed her or change her diaper, even if that means that you have to wait a little longer for me to play with you or cuddle with you.

you really surprised me little man. but i don't know why i was so surprised. i know you. and i know you have a heart that is bigger than anyone else even knows. you see when people are sad and need a hug. you see when they need one of your goofy smiles.

you saw that i desperately needed you to be okay for me to be okay. and you gave me that.

oh, how i love you. i want you to always remember how immensely proud i am of you right now and know that from the very, very beginning, you have been the best big brother our kenzie girl could ever ask for.

thank you, buddy.

mom