seven years.

Boxes line the hallway as we prepare to move out of the only home our little family has known. My heart is tingly. I feel powerfully in my soul the magic that exists when you create a home, and the mercifully slow - but still painful - ripping of the bandage … the part where we say goodbye.

I have a hard time thinking that something so real and present and constant in my life will soon move from reality to memory – from real and tangible to something I’ll only see again in photographs or feel in my heart. The stuff packed in boxes will be unpacked in a different place and we all will have to find different spots and spaces to dwell. My kids, who have an affinity for routines and familiarity, will have to find a new familiar. It overwhelms me both in good and hard ways.

And – a little surprisingly – the image I keep seeing in my head is of just Luke and I, newly married posing for a picture on the front porch. I look at that younger, skinnier version of myself and realize that that girl didn’t even have a clue. She didn’t know that seven years later – seven years into her marriage – she’d be leaving this house with two amazing babies and memories too good that she almost can’t stand to let them go.

But the reason I know it’s going to be okay is because God is teaching me what “home” is. And it’s not the cozy front porch or place you snuggled together and watched movies. It’s not the kitchen where your babies sat in highchairs while you cooked dinner. It’s not the familiar location where you knew the people at your local Safeway and Starbucks. It’s not even a place. It's where He's planted you and given you the people that you love.  Luke, Caleb and Kenzie are the warmest, most secure, most beautiful things to me and with them by my side, I will go anywhere.

In a couple of days, Luke and I will be celebrating our anniversary. As I scan our increasingly empty home, I am so struck by how much he has given me. Encouragement, support, laughter, strength, advice and a love that is just about as unconditional as it gets. Our very best memories of the past years are as good as they are because of the man he is.  How lucky am I that I, and our sweet kids, get to call him ours.  I know that THAT is a gift that I will never have to say goodbye to, or move away from. It’s just a precious, grace-filled blessing I get to keep for all of my life.  

     

Happy Anniversary, Luke. Thank you for being our home.