eleven months.

Dear Caleb,

I've probably seen the biggest change in you this past month. It's been huge . . .

You went from being a crawler to a full on explorer. You go into every room of our house and check out every square inch. You pull yourself up, pull things down, open and close anything that can be opened or closed, and are unfortunately attracted to all things breakable. It’s so entertaining to see you navigate your way around the house. It’s like your own personal obstacle course.

You are determined. This is my nice way of saying you don’t listen well to the word, “no.” But there is just something about that look on your face when you see an opening and know you can get to something that you’re not supposed to touch. You go for it. And even when you get caught, you look like you had so much fun trying. You have that mischievous grin. I won't lie ... it exasperates me, but sometimes (sometimes) I'm smiling on the inside.

You are a thinker. I love seeing the wheels in your head turn. When I ask “Where’s dad?” you look down the hallway knowing right where he is. When you climb up onto something, you are already thinking about how you will get down and you do so carefully and meticulously. You recognize words and phrases and people even better than before. And you have that serious look when anything new or interesting is happening.

You are adventurous. You love when you flip you upside down. You love to climb up onto our headboard and fall backwards in a mound of soft pillows. You love being on dad’s shoulder when he runs. You love climbing onto your toy house and shaking it like King Kong. You love being in the water and doing the back float. You love challenging yourself to see if you can do things on your own.

And some things remain the same. You still don’t like getting changed. You still get in those moods when you don’t want us to put you down for even a second. You still are a loud talker and like to scream for no reason. You still wake up every morning, with that sweet tired smile and make us grateful for another day.

I can see how 11 months can be a milestone that is overlooked because we are so close to that big YEAR birthday. But I will always remember 11 months because I think this is really the start of you being a little boy rather than a little baby. And, wow, even writing that makes me teary. It is such a strange feeling to miss you being a baby but love who you are now so much and also look forward to the years ahead watching you grow and change. I guess it just comes down to the fact that I’m blessed. I’m blessed to get to be a part of your life. I’m blessed because no matter what age, you’ll always be my sweet baby.

We are only a few weeks from celebrating a year of you in our lives and I can hardly stand it. It feels like my heart might burst. You will never know how happy you’ve made me. I know I’ll try to explain it to you several times in your life, but just know … you’ll never truly know. Because I could never put this kind of love into words. There are no words.

Love, Mom