blessed.

i haven't posted for a while. we've been kind of floored. by sickness (nothing serious, just the usual viruses that transfer endlessly between kids and parents), work, working on re-prioritizing, etc.

it has been eye opening. these past couple of weeks. i've felt so tired, so inadequate, so stressed and discouraged. and every time i've wanted to blog my many complaints ... i've deleted those posts.

why? not because stress and discouraging seasons are not a reality of life. but because when it comes down to it, i know that my life is full of grace, gifts and riches that i never even knew existed.

i can name them. a God who pursues. family, who i love and have so much hope for. friends who teach and challenge and add joy to our lives. each other. our little man. our lives, though imperfect at times, it is really all my dreams coming true. when i sit down and tell God how grateful i am for that, somehow i just have to delete my complaints.

being a mom is hard. having little sleep and little time and a transformed life is an adjustment. sometimes i feel like i can't be the wife or friend i want to be. but people have shown me grace. i GET to be a mom. i get to have an amazing job of taking care of caleb b. i get the privilege of raising him with the best partner imaginable. we have family and friends who love him like crazy and who i know will always be there for him.

i am humbled by my friends who have much harder days than me. bigger struggles. and people who i don't even know who leave me speechless because they give up everything for others and act like it's no big deal.

i have very little to complain about. and even though this blog might not reflect it, i am truly a complainer. today, i am resisting the urge to complain and by His grace I have a lot of thankfulness in my heart. i realize that my life is filled with Love so amazing, and i am thankful to Him for every ounce of it.